Pneumonia sucks, but you know what sucks more? “CSI:
Once (if) you get past David Caruso’s horrible one liners. Once (if) you get past the fact that nearly
For example the killers included:
- Rebecca Gayheart from “Urban Legends,” “Dead Like Me” and tons of stuff
- Leslie Bibb from “Talladega Nights,” “Popular,” and tons of stuff
- Leighton Meester who plays Blair on “Gossip Girl”
- Kelly Carlson who plays Kimber on “Nip/Tuck”
- Colin Ferguson who plays Sheriff Carter on “
- Chris Bruno who played Walt Bannerman on “The Dead Zone”
- Chris Carmack who played Luke from “The O.C.”
- Danay Garcia who plays
- Anna Lynne McCord who is currently on “Nip/Tuck” and did a mini-arc on “Ugly Betty”
- Adam LaVorgna who played Robbie on “7th Heaven”
You might consider turning off the tv and finding a new recreation. You have far too much knowledge of tv shows in general. I’ve seen all of the shows you mention, yet had no idea who any of these “killers” were or what they appeared in previously. I hardly recognize all the shows you mention.
I’m a writer. I HAVE to keep up-to-date on pop-culture!
Great POSt! It made my day! Please more of that!
Question. How many morons out there actually believe what they see on those garbage CSI shows is actually true? Well boys and girls, sadly — millions.
Take this scenario. A rare, hard to find rope was used to create a corpse of some poor slob. Yep, it was gonna be hard to find who might sell this rope. Hold it – no it ain’t. Let’s fire up our CSI Rope Database which will search the inventory of every store on the planet. Yep, it worked.
Let’s whip right over to these stores and see who bought this rope. We’ll then have suspects and eventually nail the killer.
CSI in real life do not go to the store and check it out, the cops do. These CSI are special. They do everything. They stake-out suspects, arrest people, interview suspects and on and on and on.
Speaking of cops. Have you ever noticed that Brass cop always works the same shift as the CSI gang does?
You may have noticed the CSI shows have a database to search anything. They can search people’s private medical records to see what drugs a person has purchased. Here is the scenario from CSI Miami. I could have it backwards, not being an insulin expert, but this is the general idea.
CSI twits have determined that the murderer uses insulin because the murder scene has a sweet smell, which supposedly insulin does when a person is getting low. The suspect they are interviewing doesn’t stink, but his limo does. Holy smokes, CSI now knows said suspect uses insulin. Good thing they smelled inside the limo. CSI hunches that the suspect must have injected just before committing the dreadful deed this time around. No problem for CSI. They search a database for all people who bought insulin in the last 24 hours, and yes, the suspects name is on the list. Get real CSI. There ain’t no way, ever, that this is plausible. It would mean they can search every pharmacist’s database anytime they damn well feel like it. Duh. How did they get permission to do this? I guess all pharmacies are required by law to let the police search people’s private records. More Duh!
Anytime a CSI person has a hunch about something, they sit their sweet ass down at a computer, and just start typing. Poof, up pops an answer. There was no need to actually find the correct non-existant database first, then search.
CSI’s are experts of all trades. They can inspect a car from top to bottom to determine if someone was messin with it. They can analyze a cars electronics just like that and understand what the data means. Wow! It takes a real mechanic a long time to learn this.
Stay tuned CSI lovers. More idiotic scenarios coming soon.
In the meantime, get a life.
Take a gander at the CTV CSI Forums. Everyone there is over the top CSI fanatics.
http://discuss.ctv.ca/forums/index.php?
Still haven’t had enough of CSI patheticness? Here ya go.
http://csi.wetpaint.com/page/CSI+for+Canadian+fans?t=anon
csi miami sucks. the actors sucks and the whole thing in that show sucks
The most ludicrous aspect of CSI: Miami is how *everyone* is just so perfect-looking. The CSI’s, the medical examiners, the victims, suspects and witnesses. I know this is TV, but even the other CSI shows at least don’t take every cast member straight out of Vogue. Again with everyone being perfect, it seems that every victim is always wealthy, and has a beautiful (or ugly) house with beautiful (or ugly contemporary) furnishings.
Another gripe is that none of the suspects or people brought in for questioning ever have a lawyer with them, and they will confess to a murder with just the most circumstantial of evidence.
Yes, we all know that CSI’s have a database on everything from fingerprints, car paint, surf wax to dental floss. However, every fingerprint or DNA sample they ever run through their little database returns a match… NEVER a “oh well, this print isn’t in the database”.
And don’t get me started on that fancy new Minority-Report looking computer they have in the lab. All police and forensic lab computers make cutsie little beeps and sounds when they process information, and there’s always a cool visually stunning background to whatever they’re looking up.
I think that the series finale of CSI: Miami will see Horatio waking up from a dream… a dream about running a perfect CSI squad in the future where even getting shot in the head will not kill you, no lawyers exist, and being hostile to witnesses always gets results.
SO why do I watch? I get a guilty pleasure from watching this show and nit-picking all of the above.
I hate the high pitched goofy voice of the blonde and the male actor who is a mouth breather..i also hate the goofy way the lead detective stands sideways in a pose and speaks in a whisper…it’s the stupidest show on tv…yuk..horrible actors, goofy plots…
i must whole-heartedly admit that csi sucks and i hate it with a passion. the only reason i ever watched it was because my wife watches it sometimes and i’m too lazy to get off the couch, so i read or surf the web and intermittently fall prey to bad scenarios and crappy tough acting players who always get their guys. and of course their intuition never betrays them why? cuz their the best and their csi! f!@#ing a-team was better written than this crap.
I agree, the show really makes me sick. It’s a really bad “want to be” Miami Vice knock off. And I am from Miami. The plot is always the same. The killer always confesses at the police station meeting room table after very little provocation. And the killer always claims the victim really deserved it. The detectives always instantly figure out the whole crime because of some ridiculous little peace of evidence that they find at the crime scene. And the show is totally gimmicky. The colors are so intense , it looks more like a cartoon. And that ridiculous back lighting in every scene. Like there is an intense sunset shining on everything. The police station looks more like a high priced lawyers office or a scene from Star trek. Nothing like a police station. And they are supposed to be Miami police. But they drive Dade County police cars, probably because there more colorful than Miami police cars, which are white with blue lettering. But they seem to have jurisdiction in all over the county, including “of course: Miami Beach, which has it’s own police department. If it was done as a movie and you only had to see it once, it would have been ok. But to see the same gimmicky crap with every episode really gets old fast.
CSI Miami sucks of course, but colorful sights of Florida and the fact that CSI Miami’s “detectives” have such glorious boobs save the show for me.
Remind me again why you guys care so much about this show? You guys say you hate with a passion and its a tv show that you are not required to watch. I would real hate to see you actually hate something because if you “passionately hate” this tv show you probably kill people you hate. I mean I know it is obviously fake with their databases and there touch screen 3d projected computer thing, and the same plot but, it is a show get over it and turn the channel.
The lighting is retarded. Makes it unwatchable. Sometimes, it is the only thing on (literally -seems like it is on about 5 channels 10 times a day) and I try to sit through it, and simply can’t. It is terrible. The lighting is the worst part though. Whoever conceptualized the look of that show is on some really bad acid.